It was early in the morning, but to me it was "late at night". Once again, I had stayed up to the early hours of the morning playing my video games. My latest real time strategy game pulled me in so deep, that I lost track of time. I paused my game stretched out my arms and glanced over to my wife who was quietly sleeping on her hospital bed. We had been at the hospital for a month and a half, and 9 days ago my wife gave birth to our third son. Due to high risk her blood brought to the situation, the doctors felt is was in her best interest to be in the ICU. These 9 days were torturous as our son was still in the NICU 2 floors up. Because it was Christmas our plan was to go up to the NICU and spend the morning loving on our son.
I un-paused my game and continued playing on when she slowly began to wake. "Good morning." I whispered as her eyes were blinking away the night.
She gave a light groan as she stretched. "I have to go to the bathroom." she said pushing the nurse call button. Unfortunately in this ICE there was no bathroom attached, so the nurses had to bring what I called, the "Mobile Bathroom Platform" (MBP). A silly reference based upon the game I was playing.
"Can I help you" barked the nurse.
"I have to pee." my wife replied.
"Be there in a minute." the nurse said. I could tell this was not the ideal morning the nurse wanted especially with it being Christmas morning. A few moments later the nurse came in bring the MBP. She went to the other side of the bed and began helping my wife get situated.
A few moments pass, and my wife face went sour, "My chest hurts!" she exclaimed. "Ahhhhhh!" was the last sound she made before falling on top of the nurse.
"OH MY GOD, PULL THE CORD!" the nurse shouted.
I jolted up looking at all the wire and cord that dangled from the bed. "WHICH ONE!?!?" I shouted yanking any and all cord I could find.
The nurse began shouting out for help, and out of no where the room was filled with nurses. A small group of them quickly hoisted my wife back upon the bed as one guided me out of the way.
"I don't have a pulse" one of the nurses shouted as they leapt on the bed positioning herself to begin compressions.
"Get a crash car in here now!" another shouted.
I've seen moments like this so many times before on TV shows and in movies, but never did I ever want to witness it in real life. I watched slowly as the doctor arrived poised to restart my wife heart. The nurse who was doing compressions repositioned herself ready to move away at the call of the doctor. The sound whirled up as a charge began to build, "Clear!" was shouted before a sudden zap sound occurred. Her body flinched as they began checking for a pulse.
"No pulse charging again" and again. I was unsure how to react whether I need to help out or stay out of the way. Should I cry or hold my tears. I could not figure out what to do. For the first time in my life I truly felt helpless.
They zapped her one more times before the doctor pulled me to the side. "We are having trouble getting her hear started. What we can do at this point is put her on life-support."
Suddenly memories of conversations of how we both did not want to be put on life-support came to mind. However, I never expected to be put in this situation. A third zap sounds in the background, "Please do it" I said, "if there is anything you can do to save her, please do."
The doctor gave me a quick nod as he stepped away. I fell back and sat in the window space, still in shock as to what is occurring around me. A few moments later the doctor returned, "I want to apologize, but the team we need won't be able to get here in time. When they get here she would be brain dead from the lack of oxygen." In that moment words did make sense, the world was all a blur. I stared at my wife as she lay on the bed motionless. Her body began to go pale. I reluctantly agreed to stop the lifesaving measures as there was no more they could do.
I walked to her bedside as they removed all the apparatuses they attached to her. I quietly grabbed her hand. It was stiff, and so cold. "Why is her face so red?" I said out loud.
The doctor said, "When your body goes into this state the blood vessels going way from the brain constrict trying to keep as much oxygen in the brain as possible."
"Does that mean she could still be alive?" as asked as a tear finally fell.
The doctors eyes began to swell as if he was about to tear up, "No. At this point her heart has stopped for too long. I am terribly sorry. I'll give you a moment, if you need anything just press the nurse call line."
Time passed slowly as I stared at her. Moments ago I was just saying good morning, and now I stare at her lifeless body. Tears were now flowing steadily from my eyes. Then a brief moment later, world came back into view. I now have the task to tell my family and her family on Christmas morning, that my wife, their daughter, theirs sister is no longer with us.
This was the last moment of Christmas for me.
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Thank you everybody for taking the time in reading this. I didn't spell check or proofread... this was kind of a venting moment. This is classified as Non-Fiction because the events really did occur. Back in 2011 my Wife passed away from a heart failure brought on by Factor V Leiden mutation. As the holidays come closer, I am reminded of these moments. This year, I felt like sharing this story. Please don't take this as a cynical message to hate Christmas. Instead take it as a message to spend time with the ones you love and enjoy every moment you have together.
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from Short Stories https://ift.tt/2L6b1gz
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