---PART ONE---
The sounds in my head get louder every day, sometimes it’s quiet whispering and sometimes it’s loud bawling, I want them to stop, no. I need them to stop every night I’m rattling in fear. Every day I’m freezing and sweating at the same time. For a while, my family thought I was having withdrawal problems with my medication, and for a while, I did too. They sent me to therapy and every session was a constant reminder of how I was such a failure. The first five minutes would be fine, no voices in my head. She would ask me why I felt this way and then… screaming in my left ear would start, flashing images of a man in a white shirt and black tie walking out of a building on fire shouting for help, and sobbing in my head would start getting louder and louder, I would start crying. At one session the noise was so much I cried for at least five hours, I would’ve probably cried longer except it started to hurt to cry. My therapist tells me every day is a new day with new opportunities and new choices to make and that I should use that to my advantage to overcome my problem. My voices in my head would start getting louder and louder until I could not hear myself cry
They tell me to go to this place, sometimes I consider leaving the depressing abyss I call my bedroom, the closest I’ve ever gotten to leave my room without being physically dragged, was when I hadn’t even eaten anything for the last four days, I was just about to turn the doorknob then at that very moment when the palm of my hand touched the metal, the voices exploded, the only one I could make out was ‘come find us and set us free’ that one seemed loudest for me, now I know it was because that was the person who I would want to spend the rest of my life with
This day the voices were unbearable, but if you think about it unbearable means you can’t live the pain of something, but I did. The voices were a lot louder to the point when actual blood started pouring out of my ears. Maybe if that happened earlier about a month ago I would’ve been scared, now I’m just lying on my bed with my blood slowly spreading over the white sheets. I’ve never noticed how my ceiling has knives sticking out of them, to be honest I can’t remember when I did that, every day is merging into one another, waking up with a headache and crying in my ears, my mother brining me up breakfast even though she knows I won’t eat it, I drink half a glass of water and go back to bed, I start shivering even though I have 3 quilts over me and then I’m dragged out of my room by my brother and my father while I’m screaming and kicking, my brother is the most understanding out of everyone in my family, I can’t imagine why, maybe he feels sorry for my boyfriend leaving me, maybe he feels sorry for my life turning out to be a failure, my bachelor’s degree in medicine being useless now, I wanted to be a doctor and travel to a part of the world where there were no doctors and help the deserving families of that province and train families how to deal with this by themselves when I was away working to earn money to fund this life style, even though it was going to be expensive I wanted to do this to make someone else’s life happier, it’s funny how I spent all that time in medical school to help someone and now I’m the insane one who needs helping
Normally we drive through the city to get to my therapist's appointment but today the traffic was really heavy and my farther decided to drive around the outskirts of the city, on hindsight we should’ve just stayed in the traffic, my father ran over a pothole and something in our car came loose. We were about half an hour from a mechanic, while my brother and father were arguing about who should push the car only one voice was playing in my head, it sounded like the same one who wanted me to find him, the voice that I longed to hear. It said at almost a whisper ‘walk ten minutes forward in the direction you are going and help me escape’ in an instance I asked my father if I could stretch my legs. He was probably shocked and surprised to hear me ask to do something I used to do every day. My brother offered to come with me to keep me company, If I could’ve cared anymore I would’ve said no. but this day I was so desperate to know what caused me so much pain and suffering. Ten minutes later I’m standing outside an empty Italian pizza place, it has a dark brown tile roof with three wooden beams going down it, and the windows are still dusty. I grab my brother’s hand and push the door, it’s locked though. Even though I’m not wearing any shoes and my feet are aching from walking since I hadn’t done this much exercise in so long. I kicked the glass pane blocking me from whatever I wanted to know, my brother stood there in shock and I crawled through the opening in the glass. No sounds in my head and with every step, I take the more blood I lose until the bottom of my pajamas is stained with crimson blood. I’m looking at a picture of something I can’t tell what it is it's too blurry, I wonder why anyone would frame this. I just realized I was being watched by something, it had the shadow of a person but nothing was standing there to cast that shadow, maybe I lost too much blood. The shadow came closer and I felt something touch my shoulder. The man wearing a white shirt and black tie had a cut leg too, he had blonde hair and glasses his face looked a little square and he was shouting for help louder this time, that was the last thing I saw. I don’t know what happened but I’m now in a dark green room.
---PART TWO---
The room I’m in is white just looks dark green with the light illuminating from the vents. There are, no voices in my head, no crying, no shouting and no screaming for help. I don’t care where I am, as long as I have no voices in my head. The first few hours where fine until someone asked me to find them, someone asking me to free them, someone asking me to play with them, someone asking me to talk to them. None of these were the voices that I longed to hear - maybe I should do something, maybe I should try and escape this room.
I want to know what happened to my brother, and I wondered what this place was. I decided to get up from the mattress I had been lying on for the past few hours or maybe it was days? Without a clock or the sun, a person’s sense of time starts to go. The door wasn’t even locked, just push it open, it was metal.
24 hours’ was written on the front side in black ink, or maybe it was painted. One voice in my head told me to go into the light and another told me to run into the dark where I could be safe. I didn’t know what to choose the answer was so simple just walk in one direction, if I want to go to the light I should just go left and if I wanted to go into the darkness I should just go right, I stood there for about an hour just wondering what I should do. Finally one voice I don’t think I had heard before, it sounded like it was a little girl, her voice was high pitched her ‘l`s’ sounded like ‘w`s’. She told me to go into the dark and rescue her; I decided to go into the light for some reason. There was an elevator in the light, it was blinding and voices in my head were starting to get louder telling me to run. I never noticed how my hair still looks perfect after not taking care of it for several months, black hair and white walls. I started laughing for some reason. The elevator door opened a wheelchair was in it, I was going to go in the elevator and get the wheelchair out I didn’t though, I don’t know what I was thinking I made what would probably be considered the biggest mistake in my life, I turned around and walked into the dark wondering what was in there. They all have white eyes and their mouths go all the way around their heads with an actual hinge to keep the two parts of their heads together their skin radiates cold, they all wear black and they are tear stains going down their cheeks, the girl runs up to me and take my hand, its dead cold. Maybe they are dead. She tells me why I’m here, what I’m supposed to be doing, how they got me here and how sorry they are for ruining my life. Maybe this is all a dream and I’m about to wake up.
The girls name is Amy, she told me she was the result of a genetic mutation, she was supposed to an immortal, a person who would live forever, a person who didn’t get sick, a person who couldn’t be destroyed, a person a thousand times stronger than titanium, the strongest metal on earth. Yes she could live forever and yes she was almost indestructible she had to pay the price for it; she had to stay the same physical body, voice, and way of thinking for life. I ask her if there are any more people like her down here. She tells me there are about twenty other types of people down here, they can’t go near each other because their genetic mutations react negatively with each other, some minimally and some on a larger scale. She tells most of the people down here volunteered for the experiment hoping to live forever, hoping to never die, hoping to never get hurt, and knowing you will always have time. Different mutations mean different abilities, the people that altered her tried to remove that piece of brain that turns you old, and removing that piece that makes you feel pain, removing that piece is extremely painful, you wake up with the top of your head sliced open and the pupils of your eyes turning neon white and your eyes glowing illuminating a faint light, every one like her ended up with half of their skull becoming very weak and eventually snapping and that’s why they have hinges on the back of their heads, they don’t eat, don’t need to breathe, don’t need to sleep, don’t need to rest, don’t need to do anything to keep them alive. She tells me that there are a lot more people who want to meet me.
---PART THREE---
I’m walking in pitch black; it feels like the floor is wet. It’s slowly getting deeper but the floor doesn’t feel slanted. After about fifteen minutes later I’m swimming with my neck above the water, I can hear music and I see flickering lights in the distance, now and then the music changes and the water gets higher. I can make out the silhouettes of five people for dancing with each other and one sitting on the edge of what I think is a stage, its grey and round. The water is his tears that he constantly cries
Four people are dancing one lady which I now know is called Beatrice has light purple skin she is wearing a long violet dress with pink crescents on the end of her dress, her hair was only a shade darker than her dress, it was tied in a bun with a pink scrunchie. The person she was dancing with was a man in a pink and white suit, his hair was straight and almost covered his forehead completely, and he wore a black top hat that had a glowing pink band going around it. There was another lady dressed in a pale yellow and white dress that puffed out just enough to cover her knees, it looked a little like a tutu but it wasn’t a tutu. She was twirling around at exceptional speeds; I was getting dizzy just looking at her. She was being spun by a man in all blue. He had white skin and a blue suit with different colored triangles on it. One person sat there on the small light grey circular stage, he was crying. Crying tears that filled the circular room we were in. crying the tears which looked like they would never stop. Music seemed to radiate from him and every step everyone else took was like a note of a different instrument being played.
The one radiating music stood out for me like I had known him my entire life, he wore a green and black suit, and his curly hair was dark green, almost black. Where the whites of his eyes were supposed to be; it was black, both eyes were as soulless as my life once was. His suit was glowing faintly with green sparkle.
I swam over to him and grabbed his foot. It was as hot as coal. I pulled it back and he looked up. He gave me a gloved hand it was warm. He helped me up and was probably going to hug me, but he knew he would burn me, he explained what he was exactly and how he was sorry for ruining my life. He says he was offered the chance to live forever. Someone he knew was conducting a scientific experiment, he jumped at the opportunity. He was told the procedure was very safe, that the people who had done this to him were to boost the part of the brain that produces energy if a person produces more mental energy your physical body is tricked into believing that it still has energy so that it is overworked without any major consequences, there was an entire team of lawyers getting this through the human rights department, even though his case the case was dismissed; he went through with it anyway. With his mind producing so much energy his body tries to get rid of it in any way possible; that’s why his body temperature is so hot and why he produces music, the other has to keep dancing to burn off the excess energy. He tells me that I have to go back and meet one more person to fully understand why I’m here
I know I was stupid, but I thought I would end up with him
---PART FOUR---
The pool of tears I’m swimming through is starting to go cold when I came through earlier they were still warm. Could someone cry this much in twenty minutes? Why would someone imprison so many people into this forsaken place? Maybe I can help them, maybe I can save everyone here, maybe I can bring these people back to the world they once lived in, and maybe I could re-unite them with the people they used to love.
The tears feel like there congealing, I need to use more effort to swim through them and I feel like if I don’t I’m stuck in place. I wonder what caused the man in the green suit to cry so much, what would happen to the other people like him if they did stop dancing, would they die? A few seconds later I’m out of the tears and walking on the cold metal floors, above me it seems like rats are running around in the vents different dark lights occasionally come out of them sometimes dark green, sometimes dark red or sometimes dark blue. They aren’t rats though their footsteps are way too heavy. I was going back in the way I came until I heard a scream, it sounded like there was a liquid gurgling in that scream. I was skeptical about what to do, continue going straight or turn left and maybe save someone's life. Maybe that makes me a bad person to take that long to choose between saving a life and going to someone I don’t even know. I eventually choose to go left and at least see what was causing that noise and if it wasn’t anything I could just turn back. ‘Voices in your head were what bought you here’ echoed through my ears.
At first, I was just touching the walls and using only that to guide me, a stunning flash of light came on. I was disorientated and my eyes were still adjusting to the light. It felt like I was being dragged across the floor while someone held my foot, I thought it was just my mind, and I only opened my eyes when I felt something cold and sticky go on my back. I opened my eyes and I was being dragged down a long white corridor. A shadow of a hand wrapped around my foot and I was leaving a trail of blood as I went along. For the first time in what seemed forever, I cried not because of the pain but because I was sad.
Maybe I passed out, maybe I blacked out. I wake up tied to a wooden chair; it felt like it had just been re-glossed. Across me is a metal fan going fast enough to cut someone open. I saw my brother strapped to a white wooden plank, with metal cuff links around both his arms and both his legs. His chest ripped open and blood coming out of his eyes, nose, and mouth. Was he dead? Was he unconscious? Did he pass out from fear?
People that looked a little like Amy surrounded him pulling his insides out and carefully placing them on different trays. One saw me and pointed without speaking they all looked at me. They looked like three-dimensional shadows. No eyes and no mouths, no ears, and no noses. If they were far away enough they could pass for men standing still. They all simultaneously turned back to my brother. With a wrench, one cut open my brother's rib cage. Carefully he took what I think was his liver out of him. I was a little too far away to be sure. The same shadow creature came over to me, he untied me and he moved me to a different room. I guess they didn’t want me to see my brother like that from the waist down.
I've been counting the seconds in my head, it been about twenty minutes. The door opened and one of the shadow creatures came in, his footsteps left behind a trail of thick black sludge, human footprints but this creature didn’t have the foot size of a human, it was the shape of a human footprint but not the right size. Sometimes we focus on the smallest details that we lose sight on the problems at hand
I'm shoved into the room, where my brother previously was held. Severed limbs occupied the empty spaces of the floor. I’m hit over the head with something; I’m not sure what it was. It was something hollow and metal; it made a noise when it hit my head. They must think I'm unconscious or maybe they just want me to feel pain once again
They are very strong they ripped my left arm off, it still hurts too. I screamed as loud as I could until I started coughing up blood, it was almost like a gurgle. They pull out an arm that looks human but I now know it’s robotic. The shadow creatures are people that tried to turn themselves immortal and they want to help the world
Without complicating this, the shadow creatures used to be people who wanted to find a cure for death, experimental testing led to the making of people like Amy and the man in the green suit, they can leave if they have someone else's body to take, that’s where me and my brother come in. being contacted by failed experiments telepathically. Losing your mind and not being able to do anything about it, until you’re so desperate to find answers about what caused you so much pain and suffering, I guess that’s why the man in the green suit apologized and why he was crying so heavily when I found him.
My brother looks mostly human except if you listen closely you can hear a soft humming noise inside him. The shadow creatures replaced his organs with cogs and gears; some are bigger than the others. Some look rusted, some look like the gear on a bicycle. They all turn at different speeds; it's weird how bad things happen to good people
I don’t know what the shadow creatures were thinking. They put me in something like a box. It’s a little like a jack in a box though. It has a withered handle on the left side and the paint on it is chipping off. My skin is black and instead of fingers, I have claws. My teeth are like sharp glass and razor blades. If you look close enough you can see faint scars finding in the black of my skin. For my eyes I have two black holes, it’s a wonder how I can still see. There are streams of bright red blood coming out of what are supposed to be my eyes and my mouth. I have no nose and no ears; I guess I don’t have a face
I found a white bracelet next to a black leather book with a black pen inside it. The white bracelet has little dragons on it. Footsteps of blood trail away from the bracelet, book, and pen I found. The man in the green suit and Amy must've left. No one answers me or my brother's questions about them. I'm getting used to crawling around. At least I'm not considered a freak down here. I wouldn’t know anyway, I'm too depressed to explore this place. I just realized how skinny my wrists are, they look like they could be snapped as easily as a little twig pulled from a shrub
This little book is only half full now, maybe I’ll write more in this book later. Isn’t writing supposed to be therapeutic? If it is, it's not working. Maybe I’ll explore the rest of this place tomorrow.
---THE END---
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