THUMP.
Steven woke up with a jump.
You know that way when you feel as though you've been woken up by a massive bang or an unexplained sound? Well that. Except it happened again a few seconds later.
THUMP.
"NAW NO AGAIN JAMES! JAMES! I TOLD YOU IT'S FAR TOO BIG TO FIT IN THERE!". Something rattled. It sounded like the good plates in the cupboard. "YOU'RE GONNAE BREAK SOMETHING". Steven was still half asleep so he narrowed his eyes to listen harder.
DOOSH.
Felt like the whole house shook this time.
"AW FOR FUCK SAKE IT'S MASSIVE!"
It was Stevens mum Jacqui and she was absolutely screaming the place down. Steven sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It was Sunday morning and by the look of the sky outside it was far too early.
He rolled out of bed and headed downstairs. The banging seemed to have stopped but the shouting continued. His dad was in the garden, bright red, veins bulging from his head as he lifted and pushed one end of a massive bourbon cream in to the house through the patio doors. Describing this thing as massive was an understatement. It looked at least 14 feet across and it was smashing a path through the living room as Steven watched in disbelief.
"DAD WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON!? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? "
He wasn't sure if his dad ignored him or if he was just so exhausted from lifting this thing that he couldn't answer.
"DAD JUST STOP!" He pleaded. He could see his mum getting more and more upset as the giant biscuit plowed in to her coffee table and pushed it in to the TV unit.
SMASH.
Steven and his mum braced themselves on the wall as James released his grip and the biscuit slammed down. He was bent over, resting his forearms on the gargantuan snack gasping for air. Steven just stood and watched, lost for words. Eventually his dad stood up, held his arms open as if to present the biscuit and said "well? What do you think?
Jacqui powered towards him, veins bulging from her own head. "WHAT DO I THINK? I THINK YOU'VE LOST YER BLOODY MIND THAT'S WHAT I THINK YA STUPID BLOODY IDIOT!". James looked at her and calmly replied "awrite, awrite calm down Jacqui, I know it's big but it's too good to throw away..."
Steven walked over and gave the biscuit a wee kick. Big brown crumbs and sugar grains the size of golf balls fell on to his foot and the carpet below. "Dad I thought you said you'd stop this nonsense, especially with all the other troubles we've got going on just now"
"He IS the trouble son" said Jacqui wearily.
James looked up from his biscuity support.
"This is the end of our troubles Jacqui. Honestly how much would you pay to come and see this? A biscuit this big? Yer talking at least a tenner a go. Ye could sleep on this Jacqui, there's a market out there for this sort of thing"
Steven could see his mum getting angrier and angrier and before he could react she was running towards his Dad. He'd never seen a look like this on her face before.
"MUM STOP!"
But it was too late. Jacqui had grabbed James by the collar and jeans and was hurtling him towards the biscuit. James ordinarily might have been able to stop her but he was weakened from carrying it.
THUMP.
His head slammed in to the soft chocolate cream center of the bourbon and sunk deep in to it. Jacqui dropped on to the grass and tumbled on to her back.
Steven ran over. He screamed, "MUM WHAT'VE YE DONE?!!!!! YOU'VE KILLED HIM MUM", as he pulled helplessly at his dad's lifeless body hanging from the biscuit.
Jacqui stayed on her back, staring blank faced in to the sky. After a few seconds of silence she replied, "it's over Steven....we're free".
SMASH!
Steven sat bolt upright. His t-shirt was stuck to him with sweat.
"Are you okay Stevie? Nightmares again?"
"Aye mum just the usual"
Jacqui rubbed his arm. "Well you pop downstairs pal I've got a nice cup of tea waiting for you"
Steven hopped out of bed and wrapped himself in his morning coat. As he left the room he turned around.
"Any biscuits mum?"
Jacqui smiled, "aye son we won't be running out of those any time soon".
[link] [comments]
from Short Stories
No comments:
Post a Comment