So this is what freedom is supposed to be like, the wind caressing my face ever so gently while getting a just a little bit more rough with every passing moment, just the way I like it.
I remember feeling something similar....Elika, her family used to live next doors to us. She was a few years older than, perhaps that added to her appeal. I've been always man enough to admit that I like my fruit ripe, sweet & with a bite. The cookies she used to bring from time to time were....horrible, quite honestly. But it wasn't the cookies that kept me eating & blowing her horn to the moon. That smile.... I swear people would go on war against each other just for that damn smile. Now that I think about it seems that she was more than just a banging body & a million dollar smile, she was genuinely nice, too bad a body like that doesn’t go unnoticed in places like the one we used to live in. Showbiz had another one of it’s pretty looking victims. Maybe I've always liked her, perhaps she doesn’t need to know about it.
Speaking of cookies, weirdly enough my mother makes incredible cookies. Being a single mother with a child gave her a lot of time to hone her skills. I genuinely don't remember seeing her sad even for a moment. She was used to pain as it was in her job description so home must've felt like heaven to her. She always had high hopes for me, the more I think about it the more I understand that she actually believed in me more than I ever did. She thought I could be an astronaut or a doctor or a lawyer or perhaps all of them at the same time. The thing is, it’s easy to believe & boast about something while someone else is doing the work. But I can't put any blame on her for that as it’s the rightful arrogance for every mother. When the time came for me to reach for the things I couldn't even see from my small home my mother cried & said the city would eat me alive. Her sadness was understandable as she was gonna be alone but her anger was annoying at that time. It didn’t matter though as overwhelming emotion makes every person act like an idiot.
The reason why I moved to the city wasn’t just because I wanted the sky to be closer to my palm. The smooth sailing of a life I had back there always seemed to lack something. I couldn't really point out what it was but as years passed I understood I could never find 'it' there. I needed a better view or perhaps, a new perspective. So I ran with dream filled eyes to the land of the night. The city can act like a grumpy child as it might not know what it truly wants to accept. After some time that child understood what she had in her hands. I ended up becoming the shiny new toy every kid fights their parents for. But all the riches & the glitches still left me as hollow as the moment I stepped foot into this godforsaken land.
So I figured the 'thing' I want is not something I can get from people or from myself. To get something you gotta give something. The more you give, the more you get in return. Then it hit me, it was all too easy to see....how was I blind for so long?
Time really can slow down, 70 stories are worthy of some of time on their own I suppose. I wish the time slowed down a little more but time has done me enough favors already after all. I can feel the warmth.... Light is finally here for me.
Losing everything was freedom after all.
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from Short Stories http://bit.ly/2Egk5Nl
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